Yesterday we lost another one of the great ones.
RIP George Carlin
May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008
If someone loves you and they leave and don’t come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
I’m not afraid of heights, I’m just afraid of falling from them.
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done”.