I did it.
I made a list and stuck to it.
It wasn’t as bad as I thought.
Yesterday, the Saturday before Christmas, I ventured forth and did all my Christmas shopping in one shot. Yea me! It only took two hours. I went to a store just off a highway. That was an easy in and out. People seemed to be calm and happy and generally in the spirit of the season. I left there and decided to drive through town to get to the next store. I took my time and was listening to King Crimson’s “In the Court of the Crimson King” in my car so I didn’t really care how long the drive was. I got to the bookstore and retrieved what I went there for and the 20-something moron with all the bits of metal sticking out of his face behind the counter was definitely not happy in his work. By the time I left I was not far from reaching over the counter and non-surgically removing that crap stuck in his face. Oh well he was a jerk and now I don’t have to deal with him any more. I was back on the road heading for a mall. I turned the music up louder. While driving to the mall, on a highway, I thought maybe I’m driving too slowly because everyone is passing me quite quickly. I glanced down only to learn I was clipping along at 75MPH and everyone was passing me!!! Geez, slow down folks!!!
I arrive at the mall and when I pulled in there are two lanes. One to turn right and another designed for those who wish to turn left. I pull into the left turning lane only to find the idiot in front of me driving right down the middle. I’m not in any great hurry but this semi-evolved simian was stopped so I drive around them only to be met with horn honking and arm and hand gestures I’m fairly sure was not complimentary. I turn left.
It was then I realized that the big traffic snarl at the bookstore was caused by someone driving a Lexus SUV just like the one that stopped dead in the middle of the mall entrance. So I came to the conclusion that to own a Lexus SUV not only does one need to pay twice what any other car costs but apparently one must take and fail a test of common sense.
I park around back and entered the mass consumption area commonly referred to as the mall and again I was happily surprised to see the overall stress level of the consuming public was pretty darn low. Folks were happy and smiling and nice and all. It was a welcome change. I had expected a very high level of stress and a lot of not-niceness but like I said I was happily surprised.
I bought the last present on my list and drove home.
I was supposed to go down the legion yesterday afternoon but I drove by there on my way home and the parking lot was packed and it was only 1300. So I blew it off. I wasn’t up for dealing with drunks at 2 in the afternoon.
Christmas Shopping 07 completed in two hours.
I did it.