Rantings Diversified

I would like to thank Grannymar, Grandad, K8, Sweary, Twenty Major, Bock the Robber, Damien, Granny, RTE, BrianDamage, Bertie, Gerry, Ian, Wayne, my friend Ron as well as Johnny Dodge and all the rest of you Irish feckers who have seen your way clear to send your Irish weather over here.  Oh, yea, Sam and Kav, TAT and Daz, you are not off the hook for this either.
I’ll have you know that all day today it has been raining cats and dogs or lashing rain as you say.  The thing that really gets to me is that you didn’t bother thinking about the fact it’s barely above freezing here, if at all.  Geez!  I awake this morning to a deluge of sleet!  I’m not going out in that, says I.  So I putz around the house for the morning and as the temp rises the sleet finally turns to rain around noonish.   Well that certainly didn’t last too long because the temperature outside drops below 273.15K and the near biblical deluge turns into ice.
Oh, yippie freaking skippy!!
This is just lovely, isn’t it?  So now the small creeks and raging rivers in the streets have become solid forking ice.  Well that’s just what I was hoping for, wasn’t it?
I wouldn’t have such a negative reaction to this seeing as how it is Sunday and all but none of the local pizza shops are delivering because of the ice.  Now how the heck am I suppose to get a large EBA (Everthing But Anchovies) or a garbage can* pizza when the freaking pizza shops aren’t delivering?  Geez!
* A Garbage Can Pizza is a 12 topping pizza from Greasy Tony’s Pizza in Tucson Arizona wherein one can order any 12 toppings of their choice on a large pizza and have it delivered directly to your house.  BTW, I don’t live in Tucson but c’mon you know what I mean.
God, I love this post modern society.
Enough of that crap.  I’m not budging far from my fireplace today and on top of all that the Eagles lost again and to top it off the Steelers lost to freakin’ New England but I’m still WAY pissed that the pizza shops are not delivering… and anyways yous’ guys’ are an easy target.
Oh, yea, AbVan and Baino yous’ guys’ are just as guilty because it’s nice and warm there right now.
So, there you go.

Go and download the latest version of Kilos of Craic .

Laugh and cry and fall in love with all of us.

Or you can just listen and laugh with us.

I was thinking what with this big deal UN conference on Global Warming happening in Jakarta and the delegates to it blowing hundreds of tons of CO2 into the atmosphere just to get there, what is my carbon footprint?
Well thanks to Algore the Evil Snow God and the folks at http://www.climatecrisis.net/takeaction/carboncalculator/
I now know that my carbon footprint is WAY above average. I heat my house with liquefied dinosaurs as well as run my car with it but what got me was the calculator never asked me about my gas powered lawn mower or gas powered weed whacker. It’s a two-stroke motor I’ll have you know. They didn’t even ask about my fireplace, charcoal grill, burning leaves out back or the fact I don’t recycle. I think I could have scored much much higher if they had asked the right questions.
This web site claims that the average carbon footprint is 7.5 tons a year and I only came in at 29.75 tons!
I have come up with a few ideas to help raise my score.
First off, I’ll turn the heat up to 297.03 (Kelvin). That should triple my fuel oil consumption.
Then I’ll trade my Honda in for a Dodge Ram 1 ton four wheel drive pickup truck with a 390CID V8 Cummings diesel motor. Oh boy, that should get 4 or 5 MPG!! After that maybe I’ll just leave the lawn mower running all the time, 24/7. Yea, that way I’ll never have to bother with starting it once a week or so.
Well, shoot, I might as well just leave my car running 24/7 too. That way I’ll always know where my keys are!!
So to you my dear readers, I pose these questions; What else can I do to help raise my score, What is your carbon footprint score and what are you doing to help raise your score?

I’m not a big college football fan except when Notre Dame is
crushing Penn State or my Arizona Wildcats are humiliating ASU.
This year is different!
I just want to let all of you know that on the aforementioned date
Ohio State shall get beat like a redheaded stepchild!!!

GEAUX TIGERS!!!

Twas the month before Christmas When all through our land,
Not a Christian was praying Nor taking a stand.

Why the Politically Correct Police had taken away,
The reason for Christmas – no one could say.

The children were told by their schools not to sing,
About Shepherds  and Wise Men and Angels and things.

It might hurt people’s feelings, the teachers would say
December 25th  is just a “Holiday”

Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!

CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod,
Something was changing, something quite odd!

Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken and Fonda.

But as Targets were hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe’s the word Christmas – was no where to be found.

At K-Mart and Staples and Penny’s and Sears
You won’t hear the word Christmas; it won’t touch your ears.

Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty
Are words that were used to intimidate me.

Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Boxer, on  Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton,
On Kennedy, on Peliosi and Feinstein too!

At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate
Jesus, in all public matter.

And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith
Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace.

The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded.
The reason for the season, stopped before it started.

So as you celebrate “Winter Break” under your “Dream Tree”
Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.

Choose your words carefully, choose what you say
Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, not Happy Holiday,

Our Country was founded under the Christian way
To our “guests” I can say, If You don’t like it,
You don’t have to stay