There I said and I said it out loud. What an insidious application it is. Now in all fairness I have to say it is better than My Space and a whole lot more relaxed than Linked-In. This post was inspired by Baino who wrote about personal appvertising and how it’s being used in Faecebook.
Let’s rewind to last June when an old friend who lives overseas asked me to join Faecebook so we could keep in touch on a regular basis. I did though with some reservations. I added my picture and started typing in a whole lot of information about myself but still holding to my privacy. I don’t care if all of you (all yins’) know that I live in the Harrisburg, Pennsylvania area or that I like Triumph motorcycles. I do, on both counts.
Well then came the adding of the applications. Ok, so I added an app that let me send virtual flowers to folks. That is actually the one I liked. I like giving flowers be they virtual or real. They make people smile and that’s a good thing. Though some people get flowers from you and send off a memo stating, “Got ur flowers…very nice…thank you…”. But I digress.
Then someone wanted to turn me into a vampire. I don’t think so. After that another person wanted to turn me into a werewolf. WTF? People then started insisting that I list every book I have ever read or worst yet every album or CD I have ever listened to. Are you not well? That last request would be a full time job for the next seven years. Well along came the requests to start throwing stuff at people. First you need to know that this is an extension of POKING people. You see in Faecebook you can send someone a virtual poke. Kind of like saying….,”Yo, sup?”, but in a Faecebook kinda’ way. Throwing a haggis at a bud of yours is pretty funny but still kinda’ sophomoric.
I was able to link my blog to my Faecebook account as well as other blogs I like but and there is always a BUT, I had to tell Faecebook what kind of posts I like. Cut me a break! All I want to do is link to other blogs I read on a daily basis.
This is where I started thinking that this app was written by some right-proper C**ts. But I soldiered on anyway. You see for all it’s downfalls I was still able to chat most every day with my friend so it was OK. Well then everyone and their brother started asking to be my friend. What’s up with that shit? I was happy to approve a bunch of folks I either know or are bloggers who scribblings I like reading. Well I even added the gay guy from Philly because he was an EAGLES fan. I mean WTH, he’s an EAGLES fan! Well I even added the local TV sports network because they carry EAGLES news. Ok, so I ended up removing them because of all the adverts they sent to me. And speaking of adverts…
Social Media introduced a Facebook application called Food Fight which they creatively call a “Throw app” (rocket scientists these geeks), Typically, the app allows Facebookers to purchase virtual food items and throw them – at virtual friends. It plays off the Facebook “poke”, a kind of online hello.(Well hello- o-o haggis!)But you don’t pay real currency for this virtual food. You pay virtual dollars. And you acquire these virtual dollars by giving up personal information. (Did you know that kiddies? I wondered why I had so many $ in my growing gift app.) Food Fight is part of a larger network of tools used for “appvertising”. That personal info will eventually be used for marketing purposes.(so if you don’t want to be bothered by virtual junk mail – be careful!) What happens is the advertisements you receive will not only know who you are but also your friends, your spouse or those you holy grail: personalised advertising. An example might be: “Christmas is coming soon and Baino would lov a special gift from Qantas, like a round-the-world-air-first-class-air-fare or a holiday in Vanuatu!” (can’t blame a girl for trying) The thing is . . . all the information is given up voluntarily when you’re on Facebook.
That last bit was bold face stolen directly from Bainos post of 24 October, 2007.
So to wrap this all together and up I removed all my information from Faecebook. My old friend responsible for my foray into Faecebook stopped responding to me, for whatever reason, so I decided that at that point there was no longer a need for this crap. I decided to delete myself from Faecebook. Did I happen to mention that you can NOT delete your Faecebook account? Oh no, no my little consumers, you can not. You can de-activate it but you can never be released from it. It shall haunt you forever more.
OK, here is what I did.
I first deleted all the applications attached to it. I then, one by one, deleted all my messages. After that I edited my account and removed all information. Since you cannot remove your email address I changed mine to email@example.com.
I then deleted all my photos. The last thing I did was to delete all my friends, one by one. The really last thing was to dig through the application to see what I missed. Once I was sure that I had not missed anything I checked the “deactivate my account” button and jumped through their hoops including typing a reason for leaving. I used the old, short and sweet reason of, Eat me you Clowns.
Sorry Faecebook but I graduated from Junior High school quite awhile ago.
By the way, if you want to keep in touch with me, I have access to email, skype, post mail, my blog and I even have this new fangled invention called a telephone.
So for me, Faecebook can S**k my D**k!
UPDATE: FAECEBOOK FACTS
Thanks for the link, Baino.