Rantings Diversified

I want to get a dog.  A doggie dog.  A bark fest in fur.  A shit dropping, piss on the rug puppy dog.  I’m thinking about all kinds of dogs.  Should I get a Doberman or a German Shepard?  Maybe I’ll get a Dachshund.  I could go all everyday, normal and get a black lab.   If I do that I’d have to put a bandana around its neck rather than a collar.  I think there is law stating that if you own a black lab then you MUST, under penalty of law, place a bandana around its neck.  How about a greyhound?  Apparently you can get an off-track Greyhound cheap.  I might consider one of those crazy large Dogs like a Great Pyrenees, a Kuvas, an English Mastiff or an Olde English Sheepdog, maybe even one of those big ass hairy dogs with the whiskey barrel around its neck.  What about terriers?  Maybe a Jack Russell Terrier or a Cairn Terrier?  I really like White West Highland Terriers.  My oldest sister has one even though it’s a little dog it’s one of the happiest, friendliest barky-barks I’ve ever met.  That and you let it out back and it chases down groundhogs and wins!
My last dog adopted me when I lived way out in the woods.  It was about 0700 and I went out to my front porch to have a smoke.  Two strays come walking around the side of the house and I walk up to them and pet them.  The little brown dog had a dark black stripe down the middle of its back.  I said, “What happen to you puppy dog?  Did someone pour toner on you?   The other dog kept walking down the driveway but the brown dog stayed.  I went and got some MRE crackers and a big bowl of water.  He wolfed down the water but even a starving dog won’t eat MRE crackers.  I went out for the day and when I returned around 1800 he was still there, so I gave him some more water and crackers.  We played around that evening.  He was a happy, happy pup and we had fun running around and playing catch.  Well his idea of catch was me throwing a stick and he would fetch it then run around keeping it from me.  He thought that was fun.
Night falls and I go inside.  This puppy walks up to the front door and lies down.  Well, old softy that I am, that lasted about 15 minutes.  I let him in thinking that my house is going to be a tick and flea circus by the morning and all my furniture will be chewed, eaten and vomited out, on the floor.  He runs inside, lays down in front of the couch and goes to sleep.  I go to bed around 2300 with visions of a trashed house in my head.
At 0700 the next morning this dog is standing beside my bed nudging me and asking to go out.  I let him out and went in to my living room.  It looked no different than it did when I went to bed.  He was already house broken!!!
I was adopted.
About 3 months later I pull in to a friend’s barn where I noticed there were a bunch guys hanging out with my friend.  I get out of my Jeep and Toner jumps out too.  A 14 year old kid turns to his dad and says, “Hey Dad, we know that dog!”.  Out of the mouths of babes!!!  Well after excuse after excuse after lie after lie I gleaned that these guys dog had puppies and they drove out in to the woods about two miles from my house and kicked them out of the car.  At least one got saved.
Well Toner is no longer with us and I am thinking of getting another.  I’m leaning towards getting another muttley mutt rather than paying big bucks for a pure breed.  I don’t know, I’ll probably go to the Humane Society Animal Shelter, look around and get adopted again.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 14th, 2007 at 14:17 and is filed under Rantings Diversified. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.